At our small group we do this thing some times where we go around the room and state if we had a good week or a bad week and why. A fairly basic exercise but a good way to be honest with each other and to let everyone in on how you are doing. I figured I would do that for my post this time including one good week and one bad week.
I had a really bad week about two weeks ago. It was instigated by work and heightened by my lack of awareness and my neglect to include God in my day to day. The responsibilities of my job have been weighing on me and the need to make decisions about peoples lives and essentially denying people housing when I know that we can't be the ones to do it. I cried for the first time at work and I
really cried. I was so embarrassed and felt like a little kid as I was being consoled. The entire week I felt vulnerable and I remember asking my co-worker if their was something wrong with me because I thought I was losing it. I was anxious all the time and when I went home at night did everything I could not to think about work hence the not talking to God part. It finally took me breaking down at small group to wake me up - I was carrying burdens that weren't mine and not trusting God with the people and situations he puts in front of me. He reminded me that he is a BIG God that is powerful in my weakness. A lesson I have learned before but needed reminding.
So THIS week was a good week. Work hasn't changed much but my perspective has. I decided to choose joy and was more free to enjoy the people I work with. Most importantly I allowed myself to rely on my awesome friends and a God that loves me. Okay, just read over the post slightly sappy and perhaps more information than I am used too but it's honest so I won't delete it.
