Yes, I know I never post. I realized that I enjoy other peoples blogs but don't really enjoy my own. I mean I enjoy the idea of a blog but never feel witty enough or know how to make things sound interesting.
Things are good. Spring is here, my friends are great, Jesus loves me. I am content.
So as most of you know I have decided to go full time at my job. I have been somewhat dreading it but also know that it is the right decision. My job is stressful and I enjoy free time. But I think I could be good at being in charge of the clinic - I say that with trepidation because I know that I can't do it on my own strength. I will need the support of my co-workers, my community and most of all I need God. He has promised to help me and I believe that this is what He wants for me for now. Currently I am in limbo and frankly, loving it. I am just waiting for them to hire someone before I transition into my new role and I am in no hurry. I am also being really selfish with my free time - refusing shifts at work which in turn makes me poor but I really don't care. I have the rest of my life to work.
So that is my summary I will try to post in less then three months next time. Now enough about me how are you?

Jovi

My heart has been won by a 8lb little girl. It is so crazy how fast you can fall in love with someone. My sister had a baby last week and our family has been turned upside down in no time flat. My mother, my younger sister and myself were all visiting this weekend and anytime Jovi had any need she had 5 eager adults ready to do her bidding. I could probably count on my fingers the number of minutes she wasn't being held. I can't imagine what it is like to have your own child. God sure knew what he was doing when he designed babies - I guess he needed to make them amazing so we would be willing to give up all that sleep and clean up all that poop.

Good week bad week

At our small group we do this thing some times where we go around the room and state if we had a good week or a bad week and why. A fairly basic exercise but a good way to be honest with each other and to let everyone in on how you are doing. I figured I would do that for my post this time including one good week and one bad week.
I had a really bad week about two weeks ago. It was instigated by work and heightened by my lack of awareness and my neglect to include God in my day to day. The responsibilities of my job have been weighing on me and the need to make decisions about peoples lives and essentially denying people housing when I know that we can't be the ones to do it. I cried for the first time at work and I really cried. I was so embarrassed and felt like a little kid as I was being consoled. The entire week I felt vulnerable and I remember asking my co-worker if their was something wrong with me because I thought I was losing it. I was anxious all the time and when I went home at night did everything I could not to think about work hence the not talking to God part. It finally took me breaking down at small group to wake me up - I was carrying burdens that weren't mine and not trusting God with the people and situations he puts in front of me. He reminded me that he is a BIG God that is powerful in my weakness. A lesson I have learned before but needed reminding.
So THIS week was a good week. Work hasn't changed much but my perspective has. I decided to choose joy and was more free to enjoy the people I work with. Most importantly I allowed myself to rely on my awesome friends and a God that loves me. Okay, just read over the post slightly sappy and perhaps more information than I am used too but it's honest so I won't delete it.

Polite spit

I met the nicest spitter the other day. I really can't stand it when people spit on the sidewalk. You know what I am talking about - the sun is shining, birds chirping, you have a little skip in your step...and then you hear that sound and it makes you want to throw up.
But not this guy. I was walking into work and sad that my holidays were over and another Christmas gone. When he saw me coming around the corner he turned his head and spit behind him so I wouldn't see it. Then he turned to me and said "sorry about that." I honestly didn't know what to say. I was stunned so I just kept walking. No one has ever apologized to me for spitting. So it is true people who spit do realize that it is disgusting for other people to witness.
So sir I know you don't read my blog but thanks for making my day.

I'm pouting - you have a problem with that?

It is Monday morning and I am in a bad mood. I was extra tired when I dragged my ass out of bed today, got ready in an uneventful way and then left to scrape the frost off of my car. Winter has arrived - my favorite season is over.
I walked into our clinic today and it looked as though a tornado had swept through it. Files everywhere and little pieces of paper with scribbled indistinct notes written on them. Checked the voicemail "you have 25 messages" What the hell?!
So I spent the morning cleaning up after what must have been a terrible week. Michelle is not here today - I think I might cry.
Needless to say I am having trouble recieving the joy of the Lord today. Oh it could be worse I know this. I just want to go back to bed.

Ammendment

"Nothing gold can stay" is actually a poem by Robert Frost but Pony Boy (The Outsiders) did say it.

Blogging at work again

So what should one's response be when they are told "your eyes match the shirt you are wearing exactly" Do you say "astout observation" or perhaps "oh you noticed, I just got these eyes yesterday" or simply "thank-you". The latter was my answer. I was surprised by this statement especially coming from someone I don't really know.
I guess I just forget sometimes that people can see me - not that I think I am invisible just to realize I am noticeable is somewhat paculiar. Am I making any sense?
Okay, so I complained yesterday that it was dark when I left for work but this morning I woke up to a sky full of clouds with a pink hue lighting them up. It was pretty - yes sometimes I think the color pink is pretty. I thanked God for this brillance and felt a little cheerier as I drove my 30 minutes to work. I have been missing my mornings full of sun and beautiful fall colors but as Pony Boy would say "Nothing gold can stay."

My phones on vibrate

I know, I know - I am a terrible blogger. I honestly don't have anything good to say. My favorite season is swiftly drawing to a close. All of the leaves are off of the trees but the air still feels crisp and no snow on the ground - yet.
My good friend got married last weekend. It was an awesome wedding and I was so happy for them. To be honest I wasn't really looking forward to being a bridesmaid - you know the dress, the walking down the aisle, the posing for pictures but it turned out to be pretty painless. Thanks Esther and Joel!
I am listening to Rufus Wainwright I think he is hilarious "my phone's on vibrate for you and I hardly ever feel from you." That is funny. I have never had my phone on vibrate for someone I really dig. Not many people call my cell and if they do you can usually find me searching frantically through my purse trying to answer it before the voicemail kicks in. I am a terrible phone person. I don't usually enjoy phone conversations and I rarely call my mother - she likes to remind me of that.
What I do like is email. I check mine multiple times a day. More often than not I don't have a new message but I can't resist checking - it's a bit of an obsession I admit. That is a form of communication I can get behind. It's efficient, convenient and I love opening an email from someone I dig.
So no offense Rufus but my phone is not on vibrate for you but I will probably be checking my email immediately after I post this blog.

Celebrity showboating makes me puke

Okay so a "celebrity" who shall remain nameless was at my place of work today serving lunch. She was coming for 15 minutes and we had to get all of my clients to sign a release form in case they had their picture taken. She arrived and my coworker begged me to go and see her so she dragged me all the way to the kitchen. But when I got there I bolted - I just couldn't do it. It was repulsive to me that she had come to stroke her own ego and get a good photo op. "Oh look folks at this wonderful girl that your children look up to. Isn't she devine she dishes up food for the homeless" YUCK!

God bless Jess!

Shakespeare was awesome - as predicted. I am going again to see The Winter's Tale next Tuesday. So I made my first set of curtains yesterday. They turned out okay accept that I made a mess of my wall when I tried to hang them up. I try my best to be independent but it doesn't always work out for me. Sigh.
It is funny, I have lived in my place for over three years and now at last I am "nesting". I bought some seat cushions for my kitchen chairs, hung some photos in my living room, made curtains and purchased a love seat. Go figure - some times it takes a little to get this lazy, procrastinating girl motivated.
I have had a few days off this week and loving it. The simple things I really do enjoy - going to stores in the middle of the day to avoid the crowds. So simple brings me such joy.
If you read this blog pray for Jess she left for Guatemala today for three weeks. She is going to help out at Libre Infancia, a daycare that takes care of kids who families live at the dump. Crazy that we live in a world where people have to survive by looking through a pile of garbage. God bless Jess and all of those kids!

Too hot

Yikes it is too hot outside. It is only June and my uncomfortable summer has just begun. I know I shouldn't complain - I know summer doesn't last for long. But all of you sun lovers go ahead enjoy but I would rather recoil into dark air conditioned corners. Just so all of my friends know I will be in hibernation for the next few months - see you in the fall.
Oh I will come out only for Shakespeare in the Park my absolute favorite thing to do every year. Check it out - you won't regret it

Nothing new

I know, I know I haven't blogged in a long time. Really I have nothing new to say. Life is busy - I feel like I work all the time and even when I am not there I can't really escape it. I still enjoy it - there is always more to do.
I get to go see Spoon and Chad Vangaalen this weekend in Calgary and I am very excited about that. I am going to a few too many shows these days but oh well. Yes I did spend $72 so that I can go see Justin Timberlake in August.

Blogging whilst sitting on my couching

I just rewatched the most delightful movie - Stranger Than Fiction. I really do love that film. So many things about it make me happy. I love watching Harold Crick transform into the man he longs to be and really enjoy watching two very unlikely people fall in love.
Now I am home and it is 12:46am on a Sunday night and I do not have to work tomorrow. The cherry on the top of my Sunday (sundae) is that I stole the laptop from work and I am writing this entry while reclining on my couch. I really do love the simple things in life - like the 4 chocolate macaroons I ate earlier this evening. I really want another one but I won't.
Angie and I are thinking on going to Montreal beginning of September. Are we crazy to think that we might drive? I don't know. I guess could do crazier things - like go there on a motorcycle. Now that would be crazy!

Pam + Jim = True Love Forever

Oh internet...how you seduce our generation

So I finally joined facebook. I figured the time had come. Now I see why many employers have banned it from the workplace. Searching for people can be endless. You find one person who then leads you to someone else and then another. My eyes are dry from staring at my computer screen. Wow, its the long weekend and this is how I am spending my time. I am a nerd but I am okay with that.
Looking forward to a quiet weekend at home. I am actually happy that it is raining.

Never a dull moment

Work was crazy today. So many things going on. People coming and going. Phone ringing off the hook. I am glad that it is over but it was actually a pretty good day.
I went to Kelowna this past weekend and it was really great. Went on a retreat and didn't know what to expect but turned out to be a refreshing weekend with some awesome people. Did have one bad evening when I plugged a strangers toilet and then proceded to break one of their chairs in a span of probably 10 minutes but it turned out okay. They were a very nice couple that made me feel better about it.
God reminded me this weekend of how blessed and loved I am. He put some challenges in front of me as well but I feel gave me the courage to face them too. So cheers to another lesson learned. Oh and lesson number two for me - don't sit on plastic furniture.

Good bye sun and hello rain.

Beautiful day

Oh the sun is shining today! Didn't wear my jacket. Please stay sun stay.

10 years - seriously? seriously!

Why is everyone all of a suddenly talking about a 10 year high school reunion?! I just read Angie's blog and that was what it was all about. And only moments ago I finished watching Grosse Pointe Blank - the story of a man who goes home to his 10 year high school reunion. Is everyone trying to freak me out. Ten years!!! You have got to be kidding me. I mean I am not unhappy with my life - I don't really have any regrets but ten years - yes I have a look of horror on my face at this very moment.
I am already thinking of who I can possibly bring as my date to shelter me from the pain. Oh high school wasn't all that bad and to be honest I can't really remember it (not cause I was drunk or high or anything) it just happended and then it was over. But is this how life is? Years mixed into a melting pot that drift away like vapors - seriously? seriously!

Okay I added a pic of John Cusack because I really dig him and he was the lead in Grosse Pointe Blank

To compete or not to compete

Just finished playing Settlers of Catan with my siblings. It often takes some twisting of my arm to agree to play. The last time I did I got so frustrated that I quit. It is amazing to watch people change when they compete with one another. I personally get pouty and frustrated if I am losing but don't have the drive to compete or manipulate my opponents. Where as my brother gets loud and works on strategy and will do anything to win. In the end he won - again. He really does play the best game but for me to have a good time I have to play with other people who don't like competing and who are nice to one another and give advice and can relax and enjoy it. In my world I would have everyone win in the end - unless of course I won. Funny how God did make us so different.
I love you Ben I just don't like playing games with you!

Easter break

Back in my home town this weekend, hanging out with the folks and the rest of my family. Life is a little slower here in Vermilion - not that my Edmonton life is on the fast track or anything. It's simpliar and I am the daughter again. Must say I am slightly bored - I actually watched the movie "13 Going on 30" (YIKES!).
I should go enjoy the folks, they are pretty awesome.
Happy Easter everyone. Thanks for the cross, Jesus.