Progress

It is all really happening. The community that we have been planning and praying about for so long has taken a big step forward. We found a house - we put in an offer - it was accepted! Wow. If all goes as planned we get possession in January.
All this is very exciting and I can't wait but life lately has been insane. I can't wait for things to slow down. I am overwhelmed pretty much all the time these days. Decisions, tasks, and responsibilities have been bogging me down.
Tomorrow I say good bye to my cat. It is only temporary and I will still get to see him often - thanks to my awesome friend James. This has been stressing me out the most. Now my cat has a bit of a reputation and most people probably figure I could do with a break away from him even my own mother said to me "maybe your friend will really like him and you can be free." WHAT! Did you just say that? Yes, he can be a tyrant. Yes he claws my furniture but I love him - I will miss him.
So if you want to buy a 2 bedroom condo let me know - I want it to sell FAST - not sure if that is realistic. Buying, selling, moving...get me off this crazy train.

Shine off the new car.

So I think God is trying to keep me humble and making sure that I don't take pride in my possessions. On my car's 3 week birthday, yesterday, I hit a deer. So the dent under my door is the least of my problems especially since I can't even open my driver side door anymore.
Yesterday I was pretty depressed. After getting home didn't leave my house just watched TV and felt sorry for myself. But today I am trying to have a new perspective.
I realize that it could have been a lot worse. At least it didn't come through my windshield and I could still drive my car after it happened and my two passengers and myself are still alive.
It's only a car - I have to remember that. More important things exist in my life. I got to see my niece this weekend and she is amazing. That made the trip worth it. I am thankful today.

Visit to Shell from Hell

Well today I had my absolute worst ever visit to a gas station. All of it was my fault - no offense to Shell but it sucked.
It started off by me having to turn a sharp corner to get to one of the pumps and when I did that the bottom of my brand new car got caught on the concrete meridian. I heard a terrible grinding sound and when I got out to check there was a large dent/gash on the bottom of the side of my car extending the entire length of my driver side door. Then I went to pump my gas, I was a little frazzled at this point and forgot to put in my visa like I normal do because I love paying at the pump. So I got my gas and as I always did with my old car would squeeze it past the time when the nozzle would stop itself and off course gas comes spilling out at my feet. Note to self new car not like old car. So I got back into my beaten up car, cursing up a storm, and started to drive away. All of a sudden, as I am sitting waiting to turn, there is the attendant from the gas station "You didn't pay." I was soooo embarrassed. I had grabbed my receipt which I always do at the end of my pay at the pump transaction but of course it was the receipt from the car before me. Thankfully, the man that worked there was very nice and understood that I wasn't trying to steal his lovely overpriced fuel but I still felt pretty crummy.
I was so glad to have my good friend Angie with me because if I hadn't I probably would have lost it. So now I guess I have to take my two week old car to the body shop. But other than those 7 stinking minutes my day was pretty good.

New Car

Well I bought a new car today. I have been thinking about it, reading about it a lot lately and finally decided to go for it. I told myself "I will not buy a brand new car." But I did end up buying brand new after all. YIKES, I really didn't want to but in the end I knew it was the right decision.
My good friend Angie already owns a Yaris and loves it so I am excited that our Yari can be good friends too! I also did a little name dropping while I was at the dealership and apparently they will be contacting her regarding a little bonus she will be receiving - exciting.
So I bought a Toyota, sorry Grandpa I hope I can still be a part of the family (he owns a Ford dealership).

Cooling my jets

Well I look a little like a tomato today. Even though I applied sunblock it wasn't enough to protect me against 7 hours in the sun. We went to Heritage Days yesterday and it was a lot of fun. I love Edmonton in the summer - I love how multi-cultural God made this world. This is my sister Hailey's first summer in the city so we are trying to go to everything that we can. It has been fun re-experiencing Edmonton summers with her. This weekend we also went to the zoo and we got to see the red pandas which have got to be the cutest animals on the planet.
FYI: I am realizing that I need to cool my jets a little. I often get really excited about new crushes and talk about them way too much so sorry but I am not going to be blogging about it anymore.

Some more music I like. www.myspace.com/royalwood

Continuance...

It took me a while to become confident in who I am and believing that I am girl with a lot to offer so I am just happy to be where I am at. We all just need time to feel comfortable in our own skin. I still have my off days but I can honestly say that most days I like who God has made me to be - who He is making me to be. I hope that for each of you.

This is for you Miranda. Music I am currently listening to www.myspace.com/beruit
and also www.myspace.com/shearwater

Well I survived my 10 year high school reunion. It was pretty low key, got to see some old friends and got to sit at the singles table which had some nice people. I was glad I went.
Today I am back at work dragging my ass a bit but not minding that I am here. I discovered a blister last night on the inside of my lip. It is crazy - I don't know how I got it. I don't remember burning my mouth or anything. If you are lucky I might post a picture of it later.
No news on the crush front. Probably seeing him tomorrow. I will do my best to flirt - not sure how one does that but I hear hair flipping is beneficial. Wish me luck.

Dating game

I would say that I am mature in most things. I have a mortgage that I pay on time, I have bills that come in my name, I am attending my 10 year high school reunion this weekend,I am "the boss" at my work and I have even started dying my hair to cover up my grey (the truth is out). But there is one area I am lacking in and that would be the whole dating game. How does it work? I have no clue. Is it even a game - I sure hope not I never have been very good at games.
So hypothetically let's say that I have a crush on a boy. Okay now in that situation what happens next? Let's say I am already friends with this person and we get along well. I mean how does an inexperienced person like myself know when to make the next "move". I know the lingo and I understand what needs to happen but really this is not the kind of thing that my 4 years of university education prepared me for. I guess when it come to crushes we haven't moved much past grade school am I right? Step one talk to him step two invite him to be your friend on Facebook step three ??????
I guess it is never too late to get your dating education. Oh and did I mention before this is all hypothetical?

Growing Up

I know that I am an almost 29 year old independent woman but I can still surprise myself when I make grown-up decisions. For example, I recently decided that I want to purchase a new vehicle. This will be the first time that I will choose my own car and I will tell you their are A LOT of cars to choose from. I of course am most concerned about saving our planet and fuel efficiency so that has been my search criteria, unfortunately my budget does not allow for a hybrid car.
The other day I opened my first RRSP as the man asked me question after question regarding this new account I realized I know absolutely nothing about investing. So I am now officially saving for my retirement. Quite the step for an in the moment day to day kind of girl.
Lastly, was my previously mentioned decision to go full-time. I get called "the boss" now. It always makes me laugh nervously when I hear that and say "I prefer team leader."

New music that I am currently enjoying. Check out www.myspace.com/theacorn

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE

Today is my good friend Angie's birthday. She is now the same age as me. We are getting a little older much to our chagrin but we still know how to have fun. We had a great party for her on Friday evening. Didn't she make herself an amazing cake?! Happy Birthday friend!

Purge

Got rid of some sh*t yesterday. It felt good to let go of stuff that wasn't necessary to my life. I would call myself a collector or hoarder I am just lazy. Oh so lazy. It takes me a while to address clutter and organize. I am okay with organizing my life and mind but my stuff, my home - not a chance.
I want to be better at being attached to things that aren't important. I know that I over consume and I care about the wrong stuff and our society perpetuates no encourages it. But that doesn't make it right. I am hoping that when I live in community some day (soon) that will help me live simply.

Moving on

So my friends and I have been talking about creating a co-op which seems like since the beginning of time. Up to this point it has been talk and a couple of meetings with a consultant. Now things are changing. We met last night and decided to head in a different direction. We are still going to purchase common property together but not form a co-op so we are springing into action. Get a preapproved mortgage, selling my place and looking for something new. Wow, my head is spinning. I sure hope my sister and I don't end up homeless in between selling and buying. I know that this is the right decision but I must admit I am nervous but I have peace so that is what matters.

Couldn't resist posting this picture of my niece. She is adorable and I get to see her again tomorrow. I think she looks a lot like her mom.

Reno Monday

I just finished getting the drywall dust out of my nose. I think I might have got some in my mouth too. Today I finally started working on my bathroom. The paint has been peeling off the ceiling since the day I moved in and that was a little over 4 years ago. Takes me a little while to get motivated. In fact it took me about 3 years to hang some photos in my living room. I am the type of person who is fine with the ways things are and is content to live with it. That attitude has both good and bad consequences. Good: I don't get stressed out about what I am going to do with a certain room and what looks good where Bad: I live with a peeling ceiling and blank walls for years. All of this work for one small little ceiling - peel paint, sand paint, putty holes in peeling ceiling, go to Rona on the busiest holiday of the year, sand down dried putty on ceiling, blow drywall out of nose, prime, paint. All of this and like Angie pointed out new owners come in and redo it all anyway. Now if only I could take a shower to get all of this dust off of me oh right I can't - I'm renoing my bathroom.

Be still my beating heart....

Today I watched Jane Eyre. It was my third viewing of this delightful miniseries. This genre of film - Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility - is always a little dangerous for me. I LOVE them but a little too much. They are easy to immerse myself into and never want to come out. Plus they idealize love and the need for romantic love as the ultimate prize. But they are so delightful and always leave me wanting more. Today was a bit better because I was surrounded by several distractions so Mr. Rochester's declaration to Jane didn't make my heart swell and threaten to explode in my chest like usual. But I am still thinking of it and now I just want to watch more....mmmmmm what haven't I watch in a while? When are those pesky holds going to come in at the library?
I have considered quiting watching such films but I love them too much to give them up. Hopelessly devoted.

The picture is of my personal favorite Pride and Prejudice.

Yes, I know I never post. I realized that I enjoy other peoples blogs but don't really enjoy my own. I mean I enjoy the idea of a blog but never feel witty enough or know how to make things sound interesting.
Things are good. Spring is here, my friends are great, Jesus loves me. I am content.
So as most of you know I have decided to go full time at my job. I have been somewhat dreading it but also know that it is the right decision. My job is stressful and I enjoy free time. But I think I could be good at being in charge of the clinic - I say that with trepidation because I know that I can't do it on my own strength. I will need the support of my co-workers, my community and most of all I need God. He has promised to help me and I believe that this is what He wants for me for now. Currently I am in limbo and frankly, loving it. I am just waiting for them to hire someone before I transition into my new role and I am in no hurry. I am also being really selfish with my free time - refusing shifts at work which in turn makes me poor but I really don't care. I have the rest of my life to work.
So that is my summary I will try to post in less then three months next time. Now enough about me how are you?

Jovi

My heart has been won by a 8lb little girl. It is so crazy how fast you can fall in love with someone. My sister had a baby last week and our family has been turned upside down in no time flat. My mother, my younger sister and myself were all visiting this weekend and anytime Jovi had any need she had 5 eager adults ready to do her bidding. I could probably count on my fingers the number of minutes she wasn't being held. I can't imagine what it is like to have your own child. God sure knew what he was doing when he designed babies - I guess he needed to make them amazing so we would be willing to give up all that sleep and clean up all that poop.

Good week bad week

At our small group we do this thing some times where we go around the room and state if we had a good week or a bad week and why. A fairly basic exercise but a good way to be honest with each other and to let everyone in on how you are doing. I figured I would do that for my post this time including one good week and one bad week.
I had a really bad week about two weeks ago. It was instigated by work and heightened by my lack of awareness and my neglect to include God in my day to day. The responsibilities of my job have been weighing on me and the need to make decisions about peoples lives and essentially denying people housing when I know that we can't be the ones to do it. I cried for the first time at work and I really cried. I was so embarrassed and felt like a little kid as I was being consoled. The entire week I felt vulnerable and I remember asking my co-worker if their was something wrong with me because I thought I was losing it. I was anxious all the time and when I went home at night did everything I could not to think about work hence the not talking to God part. It finally took me breaking down at small group to wake me up - I was carrying burdens that weren't mine and not trusting God with the people and situations he puts in front of me. He reminded me that he is a BIG God that is powerful in my weakness. A lesson I have learned before but needed reminding.
So THIS week was a good week. Work hasn't changed much but my perspective has. I decided to choose joy and was more free to enjoy the people I work with. Most importantly I allowed myself to rely on my awesome friends and a God that loves me. Okay, just read over the post slightly sappy and perhaps more information than I am used too but it's honest so I won't delete it.

Polite spit

I met the nicest spitter the other day. I really can't stand it when people spit on the sidewalk. You know what I am talking about - the sun is shining, birds chirping, you have a little skip in your step...and then you hear that sound and it makes you want to throw up.
But not this guy. I was walking into work and sad that my holidays were over and another Christmas gone. When he saw me coming around the corner he turned his head and spit behind him so I wouldn't see it. Then he turned to me and said "sorry about that." I honestly didn't know what to say. I was stunned so I just kept walking. No one has ever apologized to me for spitting. So it is true people who spit do realize that it is disgusting for other people to witness.
So sir I know you don't read my blog but thanks for making my day.

I'm pouting - you have a problem with that?

It is Monday morning and I am in a bad mood. I was extra tired when I dragged my ass out of bed today, got ready in an uneventful way and then left to scrape the frost off of my car. Winter has arrived - my favorite season is over.
I walked into our clinic today and it looked as though a tornado had swept through it. Files everywhere and little pieces of paper with scribbled indistinct notes written on them. Checked the voicemail "you have 25 messages" What the hell?!
So I spent the morning cleaning up after what must have been a terrible week. Michelle is not here today - I think I might cry.
Needless to say I am having trouble recieving the joy of the Lord today. Oh it could be worse I know this. I just want to go back to bed.